{"id":100867,"date":"2026-01-06T16:47:24","date_gmt":"2026-01-06T12:47:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jeannebarret.school\/?p=100867"},"modified":"2026-06-07T13:05:22","modified_gmt":"2026-06-07T09:05:22","slug":"quand-nos-mots-faconnent-lenfant","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jeannebarret.school\/en\/quand-nos-mots-faconnent-lenfant\/","title":{"rendered":"When our words shape a child"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"et_pb_section_0 et_pb_section et_section_regular et_flex_section\">\n<div class=\"et_pb_row_0 et_pb_row et_flex_row\">\n<div class=\"et_pb_column_0 et_pb_column et-last-child et_flex_column et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et_flex_column_24_24 et_flex_column_24_24_tablet et_flex_column_24_24_phone\">\n<div class=\"et_pb_text_0 et_pb_text et_pb_bg_layout_light et_pb_module et_flex_module preset--module--divi-text--default\"><div class=\"et_pb_text_inner\" data-et-mv-hidden-phone=\"true\"><h4><span>Children and labels: opening up new possibilities rather than reinforcing fixed roles<\/span><span><\/span><\/h4>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">In our desire to understand children and introduce them to others, we often use simple, quick words that seem to capture their personality:<\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u201cHe\u2019s shy\u201d, \u201cshe\u2019s sensitive\u201d, \u201che\u2019s always sad\u201d, \u201che\u2019s a disruptive child\u201d.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\" class=\"translation-block\">These words are rarely spoken with malicious intent. They are often used to explain, reassure or provide guidance. Yet they deserve to be scrutinised. For a crucial question arises: <strong>are we really describing the child\u2026 or are we simply pigeonholing them?<\/strong><\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><strong><\/strong><\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><\/div>\n<h4 dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">When language becomes a prison<\/h4>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\" class=\"translation-block\">Saying of a child<em> \u201che is sad\u201d<\/em> or <em>\u201che is hypersensitive\u201d<\/em> may seem harmless. However, this kind of wording lends a definitive character to a state that is often <strong>temporary, context-dependent and evolving<\/strong>.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">A child may go through a period of sadness without being a \u2018sad\u2019 child. They may experience heightened sensitivity at a particular stage in their life, without this defining who they are forever.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">By labelling a child, an adult fixes the child in a certain image. And little by little, the child comes to see themselves in that light. They learn:<\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>\u2018That's just the way I am. It's in my nature. I can't change.\u2019<\/em><\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">This external perspective then becomes an internal barrier, sometimes invisible but deeply ingrained.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><\/div>\n<h4 dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">Changing the language to open up new possibilities<\/h4>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">Changing the way we talk about children also means changing the way we look at them.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">Instead of saying:<\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>\u2018He's sad\u2019<\/em>,<\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">we can say:<\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>\u2018He's going through a difficult time\u2019<\/em><\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">or ask him:<\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>\u2018What's making you feel sad right now?\u2019<\/em><\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\" class=\"translation-block\">This simple shift opens up a fundamental new perspective: <strong>emotion is no longer an identity<\/strong>, but a fleeting experience.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">The child then realises that what they are feeling can change, evolve and be supported.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\" class=\"translation-block\">The same applies to traits often perceived as more \u2018fixed\u2019, such as sensitivity. Telling a child<em> \u2018you\u2019re hypersensitive, that\u2019s just the way it is\u2019<\/em> can foster a sense of fatalism. Conversely, acknowledging sensitivity whilst leaving room for growth allows the child to understand that they can learn to manage their emotions better, not to let themselves be overwhelmed, and to grow into who they are.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><\/div>\n<h4 dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">The adult\u2019s gaze: a powerful mirror<\/h4>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">At school, the way adults view children has a particularly formative influence.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\" class=\"translation-block\">When a child is seen as <em>\u2018disruptive\u2019<\/em>,<em> \u2018annoying\u2019<\/em>, <em>\u2018always the one getting into mischief\u2019<\/em>, they are quickly assigned a role. And, often unconsciously, they will conform to it. It is what is expected of them; it is the image they project, so they embody it.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\" class=\"translation-block\">Conversely, <strong>maintaining a kind, steady and confident gaze<\/strong>, even when faced with challenging behaviour, sends a strong message:<\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>\u2018Your behaviour may be open to question, but your worth is not.\u2019<\/em><\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">The child then realises that they can make mistakes without being defined by them. They feel capable of growing and seeking other answers, because an adult believes in that ability.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><\/div>\n<h4 dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">An educational approach that empowers<\/h4>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\" class=\"translation-block\">Adopting a respectful educational approach means believing wholeheartedly that every child is <strong>in a state of flux<\/strong>, still developing, and that no single behaviour or emotion fully defines them.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">Opening up new horizons means telling the child:<\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><em>\u2018You\u2019re not stuck in your current situation. You can learn, grow and surpass yourself.\u2019<\/em><\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">It also means giving them the confidence they need to become adults who are capable of setting themselves challenges, adapting to new situations and turning their weaknesses into strengths.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">For it is true that a high degree of sensitivity can accompany a person throughout their life. But it can also become a source of richness, a strength, and a keen sense of perception \u2014 provided we do not view it as an inescapable fate.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"><\/div>\n<h4 dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">Opening doors rather than sticking labels on<\/h4>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">As adults, parents or teachers, we bear a huge responsibility. The words we use and the way we look at them shape the image a child forms of themselves.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\" class=\"translation-block\">Rather than confining children to fixed roles, emotions, or labels, <strong>let's open doors for them.<\/strong><\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">Let us offer them a gaze that supports, believes and hopes.<\/div>\n<div dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\">For it is often in that very gaze that trust is born\u2026 and the desire to grow.<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n<div class=\"et_pb_row_1 et_pb_row et_flex_row\">\n<div class=\"et_pb_column_1 et_pb_column et-last-child et_flex_column et_pb_css_mix_blend_mode_passthrough et_flex_column_24_24 et_flex_column_24_24_tablet et_flex_column_24_24_phone\">\n<div class=\"et_pb_text_1 et_pb_text et_pb_bg_layout_light et_pb_module et_flex_module preset--module--divi-text--default\"><div class=\"et_pb_text_inner\"><blockquote>\n<p data-start=\"148\" data-end=\"273\"><span style=\"color: #999999;\">\u00ab\u202fParents and teachers should look at the child, not the child\u2019s label\u2026\u202f\u00bb<\/span><br data-start=\"254\" data-end=\"257\" \/><span style=\"color: #999999;\">Temple Grandin<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":100870,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-100867","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-philosophie"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.1 - 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